A flower leading towards the sun
by PadfootRSH
Summary: Jake's feelings at the wedding as he tries to let go of his hold on Bella. Oneshot.


Chapter 1.

I didn't know why I was here. Why had I come? Did I just want to create more agony for myself by watching this? I couldn't explain to myself but I knew I had to be there, I had to see her one last time even if this wasn't exactly what I wanted my last picture of her to be.

After this, I most likely would never see her again. It would change. Things would be different.

She wouldn't be alive. Her heart would stop beating and she'd be a stone, powerful marble. A figurine of ice. Not the girl I knew or met or fell in love with.

Her scent would change and I would be ordered not to see her. We would probably be enemies then.

Vampires and werewolves could not compensate together. We would drift.

Standing in the corner, hands in my pocket I felt immensely bitter. But what more could I do? I had tried everything.

I had pushed and pushed, but there was nothing left to push or strive for. I may be a persistent person but I knew when I lost and right now at this moment I knew it was over.

She, my Bella was getting married and her future would change forever.

But she was happy. And I knew when to give up, she was hurting and in pain trying to choose between us and I wasn't about to start up another fight when I clearly lost.

I knew she loved me, she knew she loved me more then a friend. But we both knew that changed nothing.

No matter how much we were a soul mates for each other, things hadn't gone as planned. Things not supposed to be in this world, our world, things that were supposed to be dead a century ago were still alive in a manner of speaking.

And that's where Edward came in. A perfect being and an unnatural force that I couldn't compete with.

Standing in the corner, the darkest corner I could find, I watched her.

She hadn't seen me and I didn't plan her to.

I would watch her get married, watch her cry and laugh. Then I would leave, quietly so she wouldn't see me.

I would leave forever because I knew this was it and we had reached the end.

Our friendship and love had pushed the limit, we managed to see each other through were-wolf and vampire rivalry but now that she was actually changing to one of our natural enemies, how could we continue?

Besides I could never be just friends with Bella. I would always want more. She may not have an imprint on me but she was the most important person in my life at that moment.

And it felt like a tiny shard of my heart had ripped out.

I would never be the same, and the ache in my heart told me none to soon I would miss her terribly-wherever the hell that blood-sucker took her.

I winced, bloodsucker…soon she would be one to. With that sweet sickly scent. Not supposed to be alive, not with a soul.

Why the hell would she choose that for herself?

People bustled and pushed around me, but nobody talked to me. I think I was intimidating, scary. That was fine, I wasn't exactly in the mood to talk at the moment anyway.

Then there was Bella. Stepping through the hall, arm in arm with her father. In old-fashioned beautiful dress that just emphasized her beauty. Her ivory pale skin, dark locks of hair and lashes.

Emotion coursed through me, Pain and sadness. Happiness and resentment. I was a whirlwind of a emotion that I didn't want to feel but I knew it showed in my eyes if anyone bothered to look.

Nobody did. So that was all very well.

I didn't feel myself. How could I? At that moment I didn't feel my confident overbearing self in me at all..

She hadn't seen me and I wasn't surprised her eyes were only on one person.

The person she was going to spend eternity with.

I could barely manage to say his name. Edward.

She had chosen Edward, not me. Though I was obviously the better choice. The smarter choice.

Still they would live together forever, and I would die eventually. Surpassing a normal human by a great deal, and non-aging for a while but still I to would die.

And she-she never would.

I sighed wistfully.

Edward stood filled with happiness. I could tell as I looked into his topaz colored eyes that he would take good care of her.

Love her as much as I did. Perhaps more….

No never more…..I had never felt so much emotion for one person.

I would die for her.

Still I knew he would to. He would protect her, make her happy as long she wanted him. And I would always be waiting in the wings for her.

She had reached him and silence resonated through the room.

The room was amazing. Huge and magnificent. Perfect. Like all the Cullens were perfect. Food stretched across the buffet table, more food then I could ever imagine. But for once in my years as a wolf I wasn't hungry.

I felt sick.

Sick of watching this. I just wanted to go home but I forced myself to stay put. I would see this through I decided determinedly.

They were taking vows.

Her family, the bloodsuckers were sitting in the front row. They looked happy and pleased. Infact everyone in the room was pleased.

Except me.

I was pleased for her but for me, I was pathetic.

Wallowing in my self-pity. I would have to get over it.

"I do"

Her voice whispered through the room, her voice that I was so familiar with ran through my ears.

I had to get over her, I would.

Because it was done and she was not going back.

Neither would I.


End file.
